Why loneliness doesn’t have to suck.

The other morning, I was sitting in silence with the Lord. He gave me a vision. He doesn’t give me those very often, so I definitely paid attention. 

It was a picture of this little boy who had just come out of a swimming pool. He was dripping wet and freezing cold not knowing what to do. All the while, his dad was standing there with arms extended holding a towel, but he boy refused his father’s help.

I’m the boy. The father is God. Shocking. 

This was the Lord’s very timely response to a something I had just went through. I just came out of a season that left me in a pretty bad spot emotionally and spiritually. I felt rejected, not worth it, and lonely. 

The season was the swimming pool. While it was happening, it was fun and exciting. I even forgot that my Dad was sitting on a pool chair fifteen feet away. Then, the announcement came on saying, “The facility is closing. Everyone must exit the pool.” As a kid, I never saw that coming. I didn’t t keep track of a time. As Dory would say, I just keep swimming. 

 I get out of the pool dripping with the memories of that past season. I don’t want to dry off in hopes that I might be able to jump back in, but alas, it’s closed. There’s no going back.

Because kids like to do things on their own without the help of others, I refused to go to my Dad who had a warm, dry towel. I just stood there chilled and soaked to the bone. All the other kids were smart enough to find ways to dry off. The pool starts to clear. Slowly but surely, I’m the only one left. 

The feeling of loneliness starts to kick in, but it’s in this moment that I hear God say to me, “Your feelings of loneliness is actually a cry from My heart to yours saying that I want to help you and spend time with you.” Loneliness is opportunity to become closer to the Lord. 

Through this, I’ve been learning to reconcile my emotions back to God because I know He speaks through them. For me, I now know that my emotion of loneliness is because I try to do things without Him. When those “things” are over, I feel like I have nothing to fall back on even though the Lord is standing right there. 

He’s just waiting for me to let His towel of Grace dry me off from the mistakes that I’ve made. 

P.S. I’m going to be about $1,000 short of my fundraising goal for this fiscal year. If you can’t commit to monthly contributions, now would be a great time for a one-time gift. Thank you to everyone who makes it possible for me to logistically serve the missionaries we send on the field!